


We deserve a soft epilogue, my love

by sasha272



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, angst then hope, thasmin fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 06:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17862290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasha272/pseuds/sasha272
Summary: After three years of adventure with The Doctor, everything ends on this planet, just the wrong place, at the wrong time and Yasmin doesn't know how to cope with that...





	We deserve a soft epilogue, my love

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for Thasmin, so bear with me. 
> 
> I know the concept of Dr Who and the whole regeneration thing but I fell in love with 13 and Yaz and I’ve lost so many ships over the years that I’m not ready to lose this one. This “I can’t promise you forever, but I can give you now.” is so bittersweet so I came up with this.
> 
> I hope it’s in character. No beta, all mistakes are mine. Feedback is appreciated.

It was a bad idea, coming to this planet. It was supposed to be a date, just the two of them but The Doctor should know by now that trouble followed her everywhere.

The couple was taking a stroll in the market of Numia X6 when suddenly, a building exploded not far from them. The Doctor and Yaz didn’t hesitate and jumped into action, helping the people stuck under the debris. When they realized they were in the middle of a coup, it was already too late.

They tried to help but both sides of the rebellion seemed to consider them as a threat. The army chased them to a cliff until they were trapped and the soldiers aimed at them, ready to shoot.

Yaz looked at The Doctor in panic, pleading for her to find a solution but her sonic didn’t seem to work on their weapons. Yasmin braced herself for the impact, accepting her fate. As she closed her eyes, the last thing she felt was The Doctor’s body against hers, just before her back hit the water.

* * *

 

Yasmin woke up in the TARDIS with a start, alarms blaring all around the console room. She wasn’t dead, that was her first thought. Why wasn’t she dead? And where was The Doctor? “Doctor?” She stood up quickly but slowed down her movements when the room started spinning. She hissed in pain, touching the side of her head and noticing the blood on her hand. “Shit…” She looked around the room with blurry eyes, trying to locate the Doctor. She was lying unconscious on the floor, next to the console. Her coat was covered with burn marks and blood. “Oh my God, Doctor!” She rushed to her side with wobbly legs. “Doctor.” She shook her shoulder. “Doctor, please wake up.”

The Doctor groaned in pain. “Yaz.”

The police officer sighed in relief. “I’m here. Are you okay?”

“Yes! I don’t think so… No.”

“You’re bleeding.” Yaz gently lifted the Doctor’s body so she could lean her back against the console. “What can I do?”

The Doctor blinked a few times, trying to focus on her girlfriend. “Nothing you can do, my brilliant Yaz.” She forced a smile, slowly lifting her hand to Yaz’s cheek and wiping a tear away with her thumb.

Yasmin hadn’t even realized she was crying. She kissed The Doctor’s hand softly. “What happened?”

“I shielded you with my body.” The Doctor coughed. “I used my sonic to call the Tardis but I guess I miscalculated the time it would take for them to shoot at us... We fell into the water and… Anyway, you’re safe now!”

“What about you?”

“I’m so sorry, Yaz, I thought it was safe, I’m so sorry…” The blonde noticed the bleeding cut on her girlfriend’s eyebrow and frowned. “Sorry you got hurt.” She moved her trembling hand higher, her fingers hovering over the cut.

“It’s just a flesh wound,” Yasmin tried to reassure her. “And, I’m sure you’re gonna be fine. You’re a Time Lord right, your body can heal? Or, or the Tardis could help, right girl?” She looked at the console in desperation.

“It’s too late, I’m afraid.”    

“What do you mean it’s too late?”

The Doctor let her body slide to the side, reaching out for the console. She grabbed it for support and stood up with difficulty. Once she was stable enough on her feet, she pressed a few buttons. “Don’t worry, I’m dropping you back on Earth.”

“Why is it too late?”

“We’ll be in Sheffield in a jiffy!”

“Answer me!”

The Doctor sighed, delicately taking her girlfriend’s hand in hers. “The last blow I took triggered my regeneration process.”

“No.” Yaz shook her head, pulling her hand away. “No, you can’t, you…”

“I’m sorry.” The blonde cried out in pain, holding her side. “Not now!” She mumbled to herself as a soft glow emanated from her body. “You have to go back to your planet, Yaz, where you’ll be safe.”

“But… but, I…” Yasmin watched helplessly as The Doctor dragged herself toward the front door. “We need more time, I need more time… with you. I love you and I…”

“I’m sorry,” The blonde apologized once again. “I wish I could give it to you but, you knew the risks, you knew I couldn’t promise you forever.” She turned around and leaned against the door.

“I know what you’re doing, don’t push me away so I can leave.”

“You knew the terms and you accepted them.”

“Well, I lied!” The dark-haired woman yelled, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t want to leave you, I can’t live a life without you in it.”

“And I can’t have a universe with no Yaz.” The Doctor smiled at her sadly before bending over in pain. “You need to go, I don’t know how long I can fight the process and it’s too dangerous to have you around.” She opened the door, poking her head outside to make sure they were really in Sheffield.

“No…” Yaz joined The Doctor at the door, furiously wiping her tears away.

“Yes. I’m so so…”

“Stop apologizing.” The police officer snapped, despite herself.

“I…” The Doctor clapped her mouth shut. There was so much she wanted to say and yet, so little time. Instead of answering, she moved closer to Yaz and kissed her softly, lovingly, trying to convey everything she would never have the chance to say. She pulled away slightly, leaning her forehead against Yaz’s. “Thank you for being a part of my life, and for loving me.”

“You’re the best person I’ve ever met.”

“And you are brilliant, Yasmin Khan, never forget that. I love you.”

“I love you too, Doctor.”

The Doctor kissed Yasmin one last time. “I’m sorry for what I’m about to do.”

“What?” Yaz didn’t get the time to react as the Doctor pushed her out of the TARDIS.

The door slammed shut as Yasmin stumbled backward. “Doctor!” She cried as the TARDIS disappeared. She fell to her knees, heartbroken and sobbing in the now empty alley.

* * *

 

Yasmin didn’t know how long she stayed there crying, but when she started to calm down, she realized it was dark. She couldn’t go back to her flat, not in her state anyway, so she decided to go to Ryan and Graham’s house instead.

She told them what happened, with teary eyes, omitting a few details that she wanted to keep for herself. After a while, the exhaustion of the day caught up with her and she drifted off to sleep on their couch, the one where The Doctor took her first nap after falling from the sky, a few years ago.

She could tell her friends didn’t believe her completely, hoping that the blonde would find her way back to them but as the weeks passed, it became clear that The doctor wasn’t coming back. Graham and Ryan visited her often at first, trying to show their support. They had lost a friend but they knew Yasmin had lost so much more, a best friend, a lover, and a happy ever after.

Slowly but surely, they grew apart. Yasmin knew it was partly her fault, she had stopped answering their calls and messages, finding every excuse not to see her friends, tired of the look of pity in their eyes.

That look, it was the same she saw every day on her mother’s face. When Yasmin came back to their flat, hollow and broken, Najia instantly knew something was wrong with her daughter. She noticed the deep cut on Yasmin’s face and concluded she had been hurt at work but Yaz quickly brushed it off and went to bed, leaving her mother’s questions unanswered.

But Najia kept asking and asking, wondering what happened. Why was her daughter so heartbroken? Where were her friends? And more specifically, where was The Doctor? One day, Yasmin couldn’t hold it anymore and broke down into her mother’s arms, mumbling three little words between sobs. “She’s gone.” Her mother never brought the subject up again, but Yasmin could feel eyes on her, she could see the worried looks her family would exchange every time her smile didn’t reach her eyes or when her laugh didn’t sound so bright.

She couldn’t blame them, really. She felt like a wreckage on the side of the road that people stopped to look at, wondering if anyone had made it out alive but knowing only the passenger did. Or maybe a part of Yasmin died in the TARDIS that day too.

She was aware that The Doctor wasn’t really dead, that she had regenerated and was now floating somewhere in the universe inside her TARDIS, without her. Sometimes, on some very dark nights, she almost wished she had died on Numia X6, on that cliff, hand in hand with her girlfriend.

The Doctor was right, Yasmin knew that traveling with her had an expiration date, she knew that her relationship would end up in a heartbreak, but she also thought they would have more time…

* * *

 

It had been a year since Yasmin lost The Doctor. It was the first thought that popped into her mind that morning when she woke up.

She turned the alarm off and dragged herself to the bathroom, her body moving on automatic, like it had been for so many months now.

She wasn’t on probation anymore but her work felt stale, unimportant. Gone was the excitement of proving herself, of doing more. What was more now that she had experienced the wonders of the universe? She didn’t know how to live a normal life or how to go back to the mundane things surrounding her as if the past four years of her life hadn’t happened. The doctor had warned them and it was true, she wasn’t the same person anymore. She wasn’t the 19-year-old girl who first stepped into the Tardis.

As she studied the scar on her eyebrow in the mirror - the only physical reminder of their adventures - Yaz felt empty. She sighed, leaning against the sink. Yes, even a year after, and as much as she tried, Yaz didn’t know how to move forward without her blonde alien barging out of nowhere to kiss her lips before disappearing again. 

* * *

 

 

Yasmin was driving around, surveying the streets for anything out of the ordinary, as if something interesting could happen here in Sheffield in the middle of the afternoon. Suddenly, her radio crackled to life. ‘ _Yaz, we received a call from a hiker. He didn’t make a lot of sense but apparently, he found a box on fire in the wood, can you check it out?’_  

The police officer reached for the radio and answered. “Why can’t you just send the fire brigade?”

_‘The fire stopped on its own but the man seemed pretty shaken.’_

She sighed. “Fine, send me the location.”

Half an hour later, Yasmin arrived at the site and stepped out of her car. The man was waiting for her on the side of the road. “Good afternoon, sir. I’m PC Khan, what’s your name?”

“Paul, Paul Wilson.”

She pulled out her notepad and started scribbling his name. “What happened M.Wilson?”

“I was walking around in the forest when this thing appeared out of nowhere. There were flames everywhere and then they disappeared.”

“The flames?”

“Yes, and then the box!”

Yasmin eyed him suspiciously. “Have you been drinking, sir?”

“What? No! It looked like a pho…” Paul saw the look on the officer’s face and sighed. “You know what, never mind, I don’t want any trouble.” He warily glanced toward the trees before focusing back on the woman in front of me. “I’m sorry. Please, can I go home now?”

“Alright.” Yaz took the man’s contact info and sent him home before checking the spot he had indicated. As she suspected, there was no box anywhere but after a closer look, she noticed some traces of burning on the ground. She walked around the perimeter, searching for clues but after a while, she concluded it was probably just a kid’s prank and decided to call it day.

* * *

 

Yasmin was walking to her flat, already bracing herself for her mother’s silent questioning when she heard a familiar noise, one she hadn’t heard for a year. Could it be? No, it was impossible. She stopped dead in her tracks, looking around for any plausible explanation until her feet seemed to move on their own volition, leading her back to the alley where her life had crumbled. Her heart tightened as the memory flowed back into her mind. She shook her head, trying to focus on the present. The noise grew louder and Yasmin swallowed as the ghost monument appeared, a few steps away from her.

She held her breath, frozen in place. She waited for the Doctor to rush out of the TARDIS but when nothing happened, she reached out with a shaky hand and knocked on the door. It opened slowly and she stepped inside carefully. “Hello? Doctor?”

The console room was different from what she remembered, the crystal pillars with their soft yellow glow were gone, replaced by a blue open space.

“Hello, Yasmin Khan.” A voice greeted as a woman appeared in front of her. She was small, with long brown hair, green eyes, and an Irish accent.

“Hey… I… You…” Yasmin was at lost for word.

“I know…” The woman smiled softly.

“But, how? Why?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time,” Yaz answered confidently.

“You sound like your mother…” The new Doctor chuckled. “Always loved Najia, she made an awesome human. Well, I guess I have to thank your dad for that too but…”

“Doctor…” Yasmin took a step closer, unsure of what to do.

“Sorry.”

The police officer smiled despite herself. Even if the woman standing in front of her had a different face, she could still see it in her eyes, it was her doctor. “Are you… are you back?”

“No.”

Yaz’s smile fell at the word, tears gathering in her eyes. “Then why? I… Do you know how hard it was to watch you leave? To wonder every day if you were okay?” Her voice rose emotionally. “Do you have any idea how painful it was to look at the sky and wonder where you were and if you replaced me?”

“I could never replace you, Yasmin Khan, you are unique. All of you, my lovers, my friends, you have a special place in my hearts that could never be replaced.”

“Why are you here then?” Yaz sniffled. “What happened to you?”

The new Doctor stayed silent for a moment, leaning against the console as she studied her former companion. “I tried to fight it. The regeneration process. I tried to keep the same body, I tried _so_ hard, so I could go back to you, to Graham and Ryan.” She let out a painful sigh. “I tracked down an old woman and her clan that I had met thousand years ago. She had a special potion that could allow me to choose what I would be when I’ll regenerate…”

“I reckon it didn’t work out,” Yasmin said, motioning to the woman’s body. “Since you look different.”

“No, but something else happened.”

Yaz frowned in confusion. “What?”

“Me!”

Yasmin turned around to see a familiar blonde face, timidly standing at the door with a rose in hand. “Doctor!” She rushed toward her, enveloping her in a crushing hug.

“Oof!” The Doctor huffed in surprise, moving the flower out of the way just in time. “Hiya.”

“It’s you? It’s really you, right?”

The blonde shoved the rose into her coat pocket and wrapped her arms around Yaz. “It’s really me, yeah.”

“I missed you.” Yaz muffled into her neck, relishing in the scent of her past lover.

“I missed you too, love.”

The younger woman pulled away, studying the blonde’s face before looking at the brunette standing next to the console. “I don’t understand, how can there be two of you?”

“The potion didn’t prevent the change, but it created a copy of my former form.” The new Doctor explained.

“Two Doctors?”

“Not exactly.”

“I’m a Moomin-bean, now!” The Doctor grinned, elbowing Yaz gently. “Get it? Moomin-bean, human being?”

Yasmin stared at the two women, her mind racing with all the information she had just heard. She could feel her anxiety rising by the second so she buried her head into her hands, trying to calm herself. She only let out a breath when she felt a familiar hand rub soothing patterns on her back.

“I know it’s a lot to process but…” The Doctor said softly.

“Understatement of the year… But wait!” Yaz suddenly remembered something. “Isn’t it what happened with Rose?”

“It was a parallel universe and things were different but…” The new Doctor trailed off, her eyes getting cloudy.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I knew the risks when I bargained with the witch…”

Silence settled in the room until Yaz spoke again. “So…” She turned to the blonde Doctor with hope in her eyes. “Are you gonna stay here? With me?”

“Deffo!” The Doctor scrunched her nose at the word. “Nope, gonna let Ryan keep that one.” She smiled. “I want to stay here, with you.” She hesitated, knowing a lot could have changed since she left. “If you’ll have me…”

“Yes, of course.” Yasmin cupped The Doctor’s cheeks gently. “But won’t you miss traveling in the Tardis?”

“Nah, been there, done that! Besides, I know the universe is in good hands with this one.” She leaned toward Yaz and whispered conspiratorially. “And quite frankly, I wouldn’t be able to travel with her, she’s barking mad!”

The brunette Doctor scoffed. “A bit rich coming from you.”

“I still have Jade McIntyre’s number, maybe I could be a professor?” The blonde wondered out loud. “I’ve done that too, you know, but could be fun!”

“Am I dreaming? Is this some kind of weird trick of my mind?” Yaz felt The Doctor pinch her. “Ouch, why did you do that for?”

“It hurts, so it means you’re awake.”

Yasmin blinked before letting out a loud laugh, mixed with sobs. It was too much. She took a step closer and kissed her doctor, holding her for dear life. She was back, The Doctor was back and she was still hers. The kiss lasted until they heard the new doctor clear her throat.

“Sorry to interrupt but I should get a shift on.”

“Oi!” The Doctor broke her embrace and glared at her friend. “That’s my trademarked phrase. Find your own!”

Yaz tentatively approached the brunette. “Will you visit us someday?”

“Maybe someday, yeah.”

Yasmin wriggled her hands nervously. “Can I hug you?”

The new Doctor smiled. “I’ve never hugged anyone in this new body so I’ll gladly let you be the first.”

Yaz smiled back, pulling her into a hug. She kissed her cheek and murmured a thank you before stepping away. She made her way back to The Doctor. “Are you ready to go?”

“Just a minute,” The blonde glanced toward the other Doctor before looking back at Yasmin. When the woman nodded in understanding, she added. “Wait for me?”

“Always.” The younger woman smiled, squeezing the Doctor’s arm before walking out of the Tardis.

“So…” The Doctor looked around the Tardis. “This is it, then?”

“Looks like it.”

“Where to now?” The blonde walked toward the console, caressing it softly. She had already said her goodbye to the TARDIS. As painful as it was to leave this life behind, she knew it would be too dangerous now, as a human, to travel the galaxy. She would still be reckless, marching headfirst into danger like she had always done in the past, but without her Time Lord’s regenerative ability, this trait of hers would get her killed in a couple of weeks, a month top. She had been exiled on Earth before, a long long time ago, if she made it then, she could make it now. It would take some adjustments but with Yaz by her side, and her friends, she knew things would be alright. It was a new adventure, a different one but different could be good. Change, my dear…

“I don’t know…” The new Doctor shrugged. “Maybe somewhere sunny. I think I still love sunsets.”

“Be careful.” The blonde chuckled as she heard her friend snort. “I know, who are we kidding?” She turned serious. “I’m sorry this is happening to us again.”

“At least you can give her the forever I couldn’t.” The new Doctor smiled sadly. “Take care of her and don’t make too much trouble, eh!”

“I will,” The blonde nodded. “Well for the first part. For the trouble part, can’t promise anything, you know me.”

“Go back to her, she has waited for you long enough.”

“Yeah,” The Doctor offered her hand to shake. “Good luck.” She started walking toward the door then stopped, turning around. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“A second chance with her.”

The new Doctor nodded. “Make it count!”

The blonde waved in goodbye before closing the door of the TARDIS behind her.

Yasmin grabbed the Doctor’s hand, holding it tightly as they watched the ghost monument flicker away. The police officer faced the blonde. “What now?”

The Doctor shrugged, a small smile on her face. “Tea at Yaz’s?”

Yaz chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Oh, I almost forgot!” The blonde reached inside her pocket and pulled out a rose. “For you.” She pouted when she noticed the state of the flower. “Sorry, it’s a bit crushed.”

“No, it’s perfect.” Yasmin tugged on The Doctor’s hand to lead her toward the apartment building. “Come on, we have a lot to talk about.”

The Doctor kissed Yaz’s hand. “Don’t worry, we have forever to catch up.”


End file.
